What Dreams May Come
by RavensGame
Summary: She hadn't meant to let him know that sometimes, she dreamed a dead girl's memories. And everyone knows that life isn't fair, but he never meant for this to happen. Some Nalu Angst/Fluff. Canon compliant-ish. A look at how the relationship could start.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: not my sandbox. Just a little angsty fluff. Not canon, but not necessarily anti-canon. I just love dream fics. If people like it I'll add a second chapter with a Natsu nightmare. Reviews are love.

**What Dreams May Come**

Chapter 1: The Things We Lost In The Fire

_Sometimes she dreamed her life._

_The Other Lucy, that is._

_Future Lucy._

_Not her death, no. That would_ _be kinder, though. _

_Probably._

_But instead she dreamed (lived-remembered-felt) her absolute horror and despair as she watched everyone she loved die in front of her._

_That future was erased, that timeline erased._

_Undone._

_And yet, like the wreckage of Crocus, in the dark places of her mind, future Lucy's demons lingered._

_Mostly quiet._

_But sometimes, when someone said just the right word, or did just the right thing, the ghosts would stir, and chase her through her own dreams._

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She woke up gasping, the memories of dragon fire scorching her skin, her breath tangling on screams and smoke and she couldn't breathe-

_(Fire, so much fire)_

She lunged from the bed, a stumbling mess in the dark of the apartment. Faint moonlight streamed through the window, but her eyes were unseeing-

_(Dark shapes across the sky, obscuring the moon)_

Her mind was filled- with Other Lucy's memories and panic, and mostly her need to _run_.

_(Wendy! Look out!)_

It made no sense, of course. There had been no safe place left in that future world, but the panic remained, demanding furious motion.

_(Gray, Juvia- no no no!)_

She fell to her knees, nearly knocking her head into the table, chest still tight, terror and adrenaline flooding her veins.

_(Run. She had to run-)_

Strong arms grasped her from behind, lifting her flailing body off the ground.

"Gods, Lucy, what's wrong? What is it?"

Natsu.

Of course. He'd shown up right before bed and she hadn't had the heart to chase him out. He should have been on the couch but apparently he'd snuck under the covers with her at some point.

His presence should have calmed her, but Other Lucy's memories were still too strong, still flashing in her mind, screams still in her ears, and oh, she couldn't _breathe_-

"Dammit Luce, talk to me, what is it?"

Natsu's voice, only half awake but wholly alarmed now.

Her right hand surged in phantom pain.

_(Run, oh, run, it's coming back)_

One part of her brain understood what was happening. Understood he was holding her up so she didn't hurt herself again, understood that even as he did, he was searching the room by sight and scent for even the tiniest hint of the threat. Could feel the way he angled his shoulders around her the way he did in battle when was trying to shield her from blow he couldn't see but trusted was coming by sheer instinct.

But the rest of her mind was drowning in Other Lucy's pain, she was drowning in her horror-

_(Gray-Juvia-Wendy- Erza-Gajeel-NATSU)_

She thrashed in Natsu's grip even harder, aware she was out of control but unable to stop it any more than than she could control the tears streaming down her cheeks.

_(Screams-crumbling buildings-oh Mavis, was that Erza?)_

And Other Lucy was screaming and screaming and Natsu cursed again as he struggled to control her without hurting her. She could sense his agitation, knew he was talking but she couldn't hear the words. Her panic gave her added strength and she nearly wrenched herself from Natsu's grasp-

_(Smoke-screaming-NATSU!)_

Her magic was rising now, responding to her panic and fear and this was bad, because she could feel Natsu's rising as well as his reacted to hers. Their magic was closely tied to their emotions, and nothing triggered it faster than a threat to their Nakama.

And Natsu always protected Lucy, she knew that but right now she couldn't _feel_ it, she just wanted to _breathe_!

He sat abruptly, taking them both to the ground with a jolt. Pulling her between his legs, he tightened his arms around her, back flush against his chest now. The move shocked her enough that she managed a gasping breath-

"Breathe, Lucy, you're going to hurt yourself!"

Natsu sounded a little panicked now, and she felt that moment of clarity slip away again as Other Lucy surged forward, begging, no, _demanding_ to be heard.

So for once, exhausted from fighting the other girl's ghosts, Lucy let her take the reins.

Natsu was there. He would keep her safe even if she couldn't keep herself safe right now.

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Lucy flipped herself around in his arms so fast it shocked him. Collapsing onto his chest, face buried in his scarf, her shoulders shook with desperate, gasping sobs.

Natsu's arms came around her instantly, one arm across her back and the other cradling the back of her head.

What the hell kind of nightmare was this?

She'd scared ten years off his life.

Did this happen often?

They'd been together nearly nonstop since he'd returned from his year away. But there were nights they were apart, especially when they were in Magnolia.

What in Mavis's name had she been been dreaming about that could trigger a panic attack like that?

Her shuddering sobs continued without the faintest sign of slowing, as if she were crying enough tears for the whole damn world, and he wished desperately for something to hit.

He hated her crying, hated it more than trains and boats and Gray's stupid face and-

"Natsu..." His name was barely a whimper as she continued to sob and a cold stillness settled over him, leaching into his bones and his arms tightened instinctively.

Because now he be _knew_.

Because he knew Lucy.

Happy Lucy and sad Lucy and worried Lucy and scared Lucy.

He knew her voice and her scent and how she felt in his arms. Knew the weight of her and the way she held herself when she was trying to hold back a laugh.

Or hide an injury.

And only one Lucy had ever said his name like that.

The one he'd failed.

The one he'd let die.

"Lucy." He breathed the anguished word into the crown of her head as she shook in his arms.

Future Lucy.

This wasn't supposed to be possible.

She couldn't possibly have those memories.

He'd destroyed that timeline when he'd smashed through the eclipse gate.

He'd destroyed the threat to her future and watched with his own eyes as Future Rogue and the dragons disappeared without a trace.

Future Lucy's body had disappeared too, and the thought of her body, laying there abandoned was too much some days, but he'd thought that was _his_ pain, his personal ghost.

He never expected that his Lucy would somehow end up the bearer of the memories of the Lucy he'd failed.

But the proof was in his arms, and he simply _knew_, with complete certainty that at this moment, he wasn't holding the girl he'd gone on a job with just that afternoon.

He was holding a dead girl.

And gods, that wasn't fair.

Life wasn't fair, he knew that well, but as he rocked the sobbing girl, he wanted to rail at fate for screwing with his loved ones once again.

Had this happened while he was away?

Had her mind been swamped with memories of death and destruction only for her to awake in a world in which her nakama truly were gone?

How often had she awakened like this alone, not knowing if her family was ever coming back?

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Shh, I'm here. It's okay." He murmured the words to her over and over again, but they felt empty.

He'd left her like this. He hadn't known, but was that truly an excuse?

"I got you."

He'd left her alone with an entire world's sorrows screaming in her mind and when he'd blithely returned, she'd _smiled_.

Eventually the sobs began to taper off. She'd finally cried herself out, or maybe just into an exhausted sleep, but he'd take any relief for her at this point.

How did you kill a ghost? How did you hunt memories? How did you protect someone from their own mind?

He stayed sitting there like that, back propped against her bed, the sleeping Celestial Mage cradled in his arms. He didn't move, barely breathed, afraid to wake her. She felt fragile in his arms, too light. Like a breeze could blow her away like autumn leaves.

He'd messed up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: And the good ship Nalu is setting sail in this one kids. Natsu is still so emotionally immature in some ways, I can't help but try and think of ways his thoughts and actions might start to shift from "prank the girl I like 'cause I'm twelve" to "kiss the girl I like because she's smoking hot and people keep trying to kill her."**

**And on another note, I totally have nightmare ficlet ideas for Gray/Juvia, as well as Gajeel/Levy. I don't mind adding a few more chapters to this if people want?**

**Reviews are love? Review deficiency syndrome is a real thing, ya know...**

**Always, **

**RavensGame**

**What Dreams May Come**

Chapter 2: The Scent of Silence

_Maybe her nightmare triggered his._

_Maybe he would have had it regardless._

_After all, life had a bad habit of trying to take her away from him._

_He had plenty of fodder for the nightmares._

_Someone had tried to steal her away the first day he'd met her, and the pattern had held true from that day forward._

_Lucy Heartfilia wasn't an easy thing to keep hold of._

_So for the most part, he kept his eyes on her. He kept her close. She wasn't the strongest choice of partner, but that was fine, because he was plenty strong._

_He just hadn't understood what it would take to smash that destiny_.

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He shot into alertness, one minute tangled in the horror of his dreams-

_(Lucy, why aren't you moving?)_

The next, he was sitting on the floor of her apartment in the predawn stillness. Lucy was still in his arms, her hair twining around his hand, her back warm against his palm.

His magic coiled tightly under his skin, a rabid beast itching to break out and wreck havoc. His control was shot, the dream pulling him back to a place where even the idea of control had no longer existed.

_(Lucy, answer me!)_

He dragged in a deep breath, pulling in her scent. Lucy, sleeping and warm, the faint scent of fear still lingering just a bit.

His magic wanted to answer the call of that scent, wanted to rage and burn and destroy. He forced it down ruthlessly, knowing the girl in his arms would be the first one hurt if he allowed himself to let go.

_(Please, Lucy...)_

His tension must have woken her, because she stirred in his lap, shifting in sleepy confusion. His arms tightened around her, clutching her close to his chest, face buried in her hair.

There was no blood here. There was no death.

"Natsu?" Her voice was a husky wreck, and it did things to him, untying knots and tangling others even further.

His Lucy in his arms now, not the dead girl. He knew it, could _feel_ the difference.

But he'd nearly lost this Lucy too.

He shuddered again, knowing he was holding her too hard, that it was alarming her, maybe even hurting her.

"Don't scare me like that again." He gave her own words back to her, his murmur low and tight.

"I'm sorry." She whispered back, still dazed with sleep.

She didn't even know what she was apologizing for, thought he was talking about her nightmare, and not his own memories.

She shivered, the apartment cold in the grey hush of dawn. Without changing position, he reached behind him to the bed, grabbing her blanket and dragging it down around them.

"Go back to sleep." He ordered, tucking her head under his chin.

He knew he was a little bit dense.

'Lacking in human nature', as Mira had once put it.

But he knew enough to understand that Lucy would normally find their position compromising, her sitting in his lap, legs straddling his thighs, wrapped in his arms.

But the blanket nestled around them like a cocoon from the world, and she didn't fight him. Not that it would have mattered, their demons were too close tonight for him to let her go.

She was nearly asleep again anyway though, face still etched with exhaustion. He knew he should move them, at least put her back in the bed, but he couldn't.

Not yet.

In a moment.

Another moment.

Another breath of her scent, safe and twining with his own.

_(Don't scare me like that...)_

He couldn't usually scent himself, but when they were close like this, her own scent changed ever so slightly, and he could, just barely, smell himself on her.

So he sat there on the floor as dawn broke and sunlight crept across the floor. When it reached them, he adjusted the blanket so it shadowed her face and she slept on.

And he breathed her in, using the living girl as a ward against memories of the dead one.

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Lucy blinked blearily, tiredly focusing her eyes. White met her vision, and she pulled back in confusion.

Or tried too, anyway.

_What in the name of the founder was going on?_

Arms wrapped tightly around her, forcing her to angle her head back, back to look into Natsu's sleeping face. It was angled down towards hers, sakura locks tumbling towards his closed eyes.

Oh.

_Oh_.

She remembered now.

Her nightmare, the panic, the relief as she finally stopped fighting it, trusting Natsu to handle the fall out for once.

Oh Mavis, had they slept like this the rest of the night?

Her eyes widened as she realized that from this position, her lips were just a breath away from his.

She barely managed to stop herself from jerking back in embarrassment. She'd rather not wake him right now if she could avoid it.

Her cheeks flushed crimson, she bit her lip as she thanked the stars Happy had stayed with Wendy and Carla for the night.

But now she had a different problem. Her legs were beyond stiff from the awkward position she'd spent half the night in and she really had to pee.

She tried easing out of his arms, but they tightened again, easily locking her in place.

How had her blanket even gotten down here?

It was wrapped around the two of them like a cloak, locking Natsu's warmth around her.

But she couldn't for the life of her figure out how to get untangled from the damn thing without waking Natsu.

And going to the bathroom was getting more urgent by the minute...

Sighing, she relented.

"Natsu..." She whispered, hoping to get through to him without waking him all the way up. "I need to get up..."

He shifted a little, frowning. She squeaked as his arms drew her back against his chest, inadvertently getting a mouthful of his scarf.

Well.

That didn't work.

She wedged her hands carefully up to his chest (his bare chest, and now she was blushing again, _dammit_).

Using her hands as leverage, she began to gently but firmly push herself away.

"Luce?" He mumbled, blinking.

"Natsu, I really gotta get up. I have to use the bathroom." She managed.

"Alright..." He muttered.

She relaxed, waiting for him to finally release her, but nearly squeaked again when he suddenly stood up.

One arm was still around her back, but the other was now under her butt as he shuffled towards her bathroom-

_He was carrying her to the bathroom!_

Panicked now, she almost yelled the words "Natsu, put me down! I can walk!"

Her excited tone had him blinking at her petulantly, like a cranky toddler woken too soon from his nap.

"Sheesh Luce, no need to yell..." He stopped at the doorway to her bathroom.

Releasing the arm under her, he easily held her against his chest one handed as her legs dropped to the ground.

It was a good thing too, they nearly went out from under her when she tried to take her own weight.

Pins and needles danced up and down her limbs as she clung to him for a few seconds longer out of necessity.

He didn't look like he minded though. In fact, he honestly looked like he'd gone back to sleep just standing there.

Only Natsu.

She patted his cheek. "Go lay back down. I'm fine now."

Turning, she swiftly entered the bathroom. A few minutes later, bladder now blessedly empty, she yelped again as she exited the bathroom and walked squarely into Natsu's chest.

_Well_.

This was starting to get kind of familiar...

"Natsu-" She started, but his yawn interrupted her.

"You done?" He asked, one eye cracking open to look her up and down.

"Y-yes.." She stammered, grateful she'd taken a moment to wash her face suddenly.

"Good, it's too early for this nonsense." He muttered, scooping her up in his arms again.

Ignore her quietly hissed protests (it was still kind of early, and her land lady hated being woken), he walked quickly back to her bed, dropping her gently on 'her' side.

She bounced once, hair flying around her, and by the time she'd landed, he was already on his stomach on 'his' side. He'd tossed the blanket back up too, and it settled over them softly, like falling snow.

"Go to sleep." He mumbled into the pillow.

She huffed at him, debating for a minute if this was really okay. It was one thing for partners to be close, but this was getting to be downright..._intimate_.

Not that he probably had the faintest idea about any of that.

"Lucy.." He groaned, drawing her out of her worries.

"I can actually _hear_ you thinking. **Go**. **To**. **Sleep**."

He punctuated the command by snaking an arm out and wrapping it around her waist. Dragging her to his side, he anchored her there, palm cupped softly against the skin of her belly.

_Oh, for the love of magic..._

"_Sleep_." He muttered into the back of her head, and she sighed, giving in.

She wasn't winning this battle. And honestly, at times like this she found herself wavering.

Was this even a battle she wanted to fight anyway?

She relaxed into the heat of him, shifting until she was comfortable.

Sunlight streamed through her window, but he'd pulled the blanket over them, the perfect combination of shadow and fresh air, and she drifted off almost instantly.

The boy behind her blinked once, surveying the room, ascertaining that all really was well before he too drifted off, wrapped in the scent of living, breathing Lucy beside him.


End file.
